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Newton community demands ban on Fruit Ninja, says chopping apples hurts their religious sentiments

11, Oct 2015 By Rahul Upadhyay

New Delhi: Amidst all the religious intolerance uproars, Newton community has demanded a complete ban on Fruit Ninja, a game where apple along with other fruits are chopped by the players. Apple fruit is of holy stature and considered as father figure by the Newton community. Newton community is a minority in India and mainly constitute techies from various fields.

Fruit Ninja busy hurting sentiments
Fruit Ninja busy hurting sentiments

Speaking to Faking news Newton community’s chief says, “Apple is our holy father. Apple was incarnation of the almighty and guided Newton to frame laws of motion. Chopping apples in Fruit Ninja is condescending. Majority community should respect our sentiments.”

Simmering discontent broke into a violent storm when members of Seb Sena lynched a boy in Delhi metro suspecting him of playing Fruit Ninja. Mob broke his phone and then his fingers so that he can never virtually chop any apples any more.

Later police investigation revealed that he was actually playing Subway Surfers. CM of Delhi has announced to give Apple’s iPhone 6s (64 GB) gold to the victim as compensation for his loss.

Liberals have  criticized this demand of Newton Community and opined that government should not intervene with personal choices of any video game. Pseudo Gandhi followers have argued that the chopping fruits increases the violence tendency in humans and it should be banned with an immediate effect.

Meanwhile, ahead of Bihar elections political parties have promised a dozen apple to each high school passing student to lure people of Newton Community.

KRK has threatened, “If anyhow government bans Fruit Ninja, I will make more youtube videos.” Government is considering it as a major threat observing the hate quotient of KRK. Generally his videos are too boring that people break their laptops after being bored.

In order to mark his protest a MP of Vegetable community played Fruit Ninja in the parliament. Finding it abusive MPs of Newton community broke his phone and  his fingers. This fight inside the parliament earned more TRP than the WWE RAW of this week.

Leader of the opposition made a point,”Earlier people would hurt our sentiments by eating and chopping apples in real-world but with the advent of the Digital India they are now virtually-chopping apples to disrespect our religion.”

However, ratings of Fruit Ninja is continuously increasing on the Play Store.

A renowned pseudo-techie has tweeted, “All women observing Navratri fast should play Fruit Ninja to counter their appetite. This is the power of Digital India.” Meanwhile , a beggar was spotted asking the trick to get a Roti from Fruit Ninja.