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Neighbours hoping for grand feasts after Hindu Mahasabha marries off couples

11, Feb 2015 By Pen10

New Delhi. Neighbourhoods in the city are upbeat with the Hindu Mahasabha announcing that they will marry off all couples going out on 14th February, the Valentine’s Day, with the prospect of many reception parties being hosted after the marriages.

“We are very happy,” Mrs. Jaskiran Kaur from Punjabi Bagh told Faking News, “Food items have become so expensive that we have not had a decent meal in days. Now it looks like we are going to have a series of feasts in the neighbourhood for all the marriages that are going to take place.” Mrs. Kaur’s neighbour Mrs. Walia was busy selecting the songs that she would dance to in the feasts and was not available to talk to us.

Poster released by Hindu Mahasabhas.
Poster released by Hindu Mahasabhas.

Fathers of young couples were however not very upbeat. “I am planning to lock my daughter up on the 14th. Everything is so expensive! How am I going to host so many neighbours and relatives?” cried a father whose daughter is romancing a boy from South Delhi, on conditions of anonymity.

Sources in the Central Government told us that the Prime Minister is planning to pay a feast allowance to parents whose children are married off by the Hindu Mahasabha through their Jan Dhan accounts. While they couldn”t announce this scheme earlier because the model code of conduct was in place in Delhi, BJP leaders now hope the news leak would help them garner some respect after humiliating defeat in Delhi elections.

“We have to take this positively,” a Hindu Mahasabha spokesperson told Faking News, “We are helping those parents who can’t afford a wedding. We expect to be invited to the feasts. And if there is any non vegetarian item on the menu, we will promptly get the couple divorced. We can’t forego our culture.”