New Delhi: 28-year-old James Lazly who quit the gym after just three days revealed today that he joined the gym just because he wanted new shoes and his wife was not letting him buy a pair.
“She’s got 22 pair of shoes which she doesn’t even wear but when I asked her to buy one for me she started preaching about how we’re always running out of budget. Sadly, we never agree on anything and I know that it’s an astrological thing. After all, I’m a Libra and she is a bitch. That’s when this idea of joining gym struck me,” James Lazly told Faking News.
Apparently, Lazly convinced his wife that he is joining the gym and he’s going to be productive like never before. And his poor wife bought him a new pair of shoes, a track suit, a carry bag and a new water bottle the very next day.
“I didn’t know it was his plan to buy new things. Look, Lazly is originally from Mexico and you know how lazy Mexican people are as anyone who can run, walk, swim or do any damn thing that requires you to move your ass has already crossed the border. I was just happy that he decided to work-out and be productive,” Lazly’s wife said with a sigh.
“Earlier whenever I told him to try and lose weight he’d wake up early and start watching inappropriate videos of Bipasha Basu and Shilpa Shetty. Joining the gym was at least a better idea,” she further added.
When asked how he spent three days in the gym, Lazly said, “Well, there was a quote written in their office that kept me motivated for three days.”
“You’ve paid in advance and we offer no refund. These were the words of wisdom that made me move my ass constantly for three days,” Lazly stated.
“I didn’t lose any of my weight. All I lost was my sleep and my money. It was okay but things went completely out of hand when they told me that they don’t know of any exercise that helps you enlarge your penis. It broke my heart and I decided to quit from the fourth day,” Lazly further added.
When asked why he didn’t take inspiration from the people who lose weight and look good like the new Adnan Sami and continued the gym, Lazly said, “What new Adnan Sami, he doesn’t even look like Adnan Sami anymore.”
“I don’t know what I’ll do with this membership card but I think it’s a cool gadget to scratch your back,” Lazly said smiling.