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Snippets

Man loses five kg after wearing a vertical striped shirt

30, Jul 2014 By idiot420

New Delhi. Golu Sharma, a man in his mid twenties, claims to have lost five kg of his body weight after wearing a vertical striped shirt.

“I guess, I just created a new world record for fastest weight loss. No exercise, no dieting, nothing; all it took was a couple of hours I spent on shopping,” said Golu, boasting of his achievement, “The most brilliant solution is often the simplest.”

Shirt
Forget sauna belts.

However, he also added that it wasn’t that easy as it seems to be.

“To achieve anything in life, you have to do at least something. In this case, I traveled from my house to the shopping mall, which was 5 km away from my house. And the most difficult part, it was raining at that time,” Golu explained the hard work that played a part in the weight loss.

After reaching the mall, Golu reportedly zeroed upon the perfect shirt only after visiting 15 different outlets. “Losing weight is indeed a difficult task,” he concluded.

Golu hasn’t yet checked his weight on a weighing machine, but as per him, he feels like he has lost his weight by 5 kg immediately after he wore the vertical striped shirt.

He has been advised by the shirt salesman to burn all the horizontal striped shirts and t-shirts he had. “It’s a comparatively less stressful way of burning your calories,” the salesman is reported to have claimed.

If Golu is to be believed, because of his new shirt, he was even getting some “positive” signals from women at his office.

Buoyed by the response, and to further increase his confidence level, Golu has changed his whole wardrobe. Besides buying vertical striped pants, vests, and underwears, he has even straightened his hair and intentionally keeping it over his face vertically.

“May be I should get vertical strips painted all over my body. This will make sure my weight loss is permanent,” wondered Golu.

Meanwhile, this morning, Golu tried to jog for the first time in his life. But to his own surprise, after running for just half a km, he felt exhausted despite wearing the magical shirt.

“I guess there is some fault with the shirt, I will get it exchanged,” Golu told Faking News.