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Lord Krishna updates Gita, lists ‘sarkari naukri’ as permanent thing along with ‘aatma’

11, Jun 2014 By Pratik Purohit

New Heavens. Lord Krishna, whose lectures to Arjun just before the battle of Mahabharata was released as a book titled “Gita”, is all set to release an updated version of the book.

According to our sources from heaven, Lord Krishna has tailored the book according to the modern times. In new version of the book, he has listed “sarkari naukri” i.e. government job, as the other as permanent thing in the world along side “aatma” i.e. soul.

In the updated version with Hindi translation, the sentence “sirf aatma hi amar hai, baaki sab nashwar hai” will be replaced with “sirf aatma aur sarkari naukri amar hai, baaki sab nashawar hai”.

Govt office
Heaven on Earth.

“baaki sab” i.e. everything else in the world other than a government job and one’s soul, would still be considered as temporary, even the “acche din” promised by the BJP, sources confirm.

After the news was broken by Faking News on Earth, there were mixed responses. Some members of Hindu Rahstra Sena broke non-functional laptops of our team to protest what they saw as denigration of the Hindu holy book, while others welcomed the development.

“I am not sure about aatma, but there is no doubt that government job is permanent and eternal. This was the first thing my parents told me while I was growing up. Our Hindu ethos always talked about treating parents above gods, but now even the god almighty has approved of what my parents said. I’m so happy!” reacted a final year engineering student preparing for UPSC and other government job entrance exams.

“Lord Krishna has hit the nail on the head!” a newly appointed clerk in a government office told Faking News when asked for reactions, “Nobody except Krishna knows what will happen in the next moment. After 5 years, aliens may invade Earth or Rahul Gandhi may become the President of USA, but my government job will still be here for me. I always knew this but my faith is even stronger now. This is the only permanent thing in the world, I don’t even believe on Fevicol’s bond.”

Back in heaven, after the news was spread by Naarad Muni, all devtas and fellow gods of Lord Krishna were surprised by his decision and asked the Lord to explain his action.

Reacting to the curiosity of Agni Dev, often active in government offices when controversial files are involved, Lord Krishna said, “I included government job as a permanent thing to attract the conservative Indians to read Gita. They had been more interested in getting a government job than getting moksha, and thus the central message of my teachings was getting lost. Now This will put Gita back in their list of to-read books, which currently consists of study guides and question banks.”