Hyderabad: An IT employee from Hitech City has become the first employee ever to admit that he speaks loudly and more than necessary on his calls just for impressing people around him in the office.
Speaking to Faking News in a deserted bay, the frank employee Sansanesh Kumar said, “Speaking loudly makes me feel I’m the rock star of my wing. I’m the only subject matter expert in my project and I like it when people around me get amazed by my choice of jargons. I got so addicted to speaking loudly that I don’t even remember when I stopped making sense. However, this has given me the ability to fake confidence which is in line with the new mantra: survival of the fakest.“
Sansanesh is popular among entry level trainees too. Rajeev Sharma, an entry level engineer said, “I wish I become like Sansanesh sir. He seems to be extremely talented and I strongly believe everyone at onsite team is surviving because of him. He seems to have trained them well.”
Rajeev’s opinion, however, was superficial and typical of young engineers who hadn’t seen much of IT life yet in their career. Employees aged 30 and over had something else to share.
“I bet he doesn’t know the meaning of most of the jargons he uses. Sometimes he wants to ‘chip in’ and sometimes, ‘pitch in’. Never knew baseless interventions could be projected in multiple ways like these,” said Amit as he ran downstairs to catch the last bus towards city.
Another seasoned developer in the team said, “Sansanesh has been diagnosed with Verbal Diarrhoea, a serious disorder marked by haphazard usage of random awe-striking words irrespective of the circumstances one is in. We tolerated it earlier, but now we run for breaks like there’s a fire-drill.”
As per our sources, IT giants have started thinking about an Oscar like ceremony to reward the best actors on calls to recognize their efforts in impressing freshers and clients.