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Indian shoplifters welcome decision to allow FDI in retail

29, Nov 2011 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. Indian shoplifters have wholeheartedly welcomed the government decision to allow FDI in retail sector and are looking to steal as many costly products as possible when international retail chains such as Walmart open their stores in India. The shoplifters are confident that they can work around the anti-theft devices and system of these stores and use their own desi jugaad to run away with stolen goods.

“We are eagerly looking forward to the new bakras arriving,” Chhedi Laal, a shoplifter who has already stolen goods worth at least 10,000 rupees this year from different shopping malls, couldn’t hide his excitement when Faking News asked for his views on FDI in retail.

Chhedi claimed that he hadn’t bought toothpaste, razors, or batteries for over three years now as he has been stealing those from various shopping malls without getting caught. He is now aiming higher with FDI in retail being allowed.

shoplifter
Indian shoplifters say they are ready to face competition from international retail chains

“This is incredible India, and we will show them how incredible it is,” Chhedi said, as he vowed to shoplift a brand new home theatre system from Walmart, if and when it opens its branch in his locality.

Similar sentiments were echoed by many other shoplifters and kleptomaniacs, who thought that big retail stores were always more conducive for filching products.

“The local kirana guys are too smart,” revealed Sheetal, who had a three hour fight with her local kirana shopkeeper earlier this week, “I tried to hide a Head & Shoulders (shampoo) sachet when he was trying to pull out a sack of Aashirvaad aata (wheat flour), but the bugger noticed it and tried to humiliate me. These guys know the tricks and are not easy to fool. Walmart will surely be a better experience.”

Sheetal, otherwise an atheist who was born Hindu, is planning to shop in Walmart wearing a burqa and steal a hair dryer and make-up kit. She is planning to accuse the foreign store of not respecting local and religious sentiments if they try to remove the veil and strip-search her.

According to industry experts, Indian shoplifting industry is very fragmented and disorganized right now, but the situation could change post FDI in the retail sector.

“We expect organized retail crime to shape up as these shoplifters could join hands, as it happens in many western countries,” an expert predicted.