New Delhi. After weeks of bickering, ruling Congress and opposition BJP have come together and announced a step that they believe would make things better for aam aadmi. Both the parties have decided to pass a resolution in the Parliament and change the country’s name from “India” to “Inddia”, based on numerological advice. The new name is expected to bring a new boost to the economy, and help get rid of the bad spirits that have been troubling the country.
“Petrol prices, interest rates, scams, terrorism, earthquakes, Indian cricket team’s performance, or Poonam Pandey – This changed name will deal with anything that has been troubling the citizens of the nation,” a joint statement released by Congress and BJP read.
Sources say that the idea was proposed by BJP’s astrological cell, which was immediately accepted by Congress core committee as the ruling party didn’t know any other way to deal with myriad of problems plaguing the nation.
Various name changes for India were considered, and “Inddia” was found to have the most auspicious value of 5. This value is a firm driver for growth and peace. Chandragupt, the inspiring leader who led India to its golden age in medieval times had the same value.
“We needed to get the numbers right,” a BJP leader told Faking News, “The numerological value of ‘India’ is 1, which is not proving to be very auspicious. Incidentally, 26/11 comes to the same number, and so does ‘Taj Hotel’, where the worst carnage in recent times took place in 2008. Even ‘Manmohan Singh’ has the same numeric value.”
The BJP is hopeful that the name change will rid the country of negative energies, end the scourge of terror forever, boost exports, and take us into a lasting period of peace and prosperity.
When asked why it didn’t go for “Bharat”, which also has a numeric value of 5, BJP said that it will change the name of the country again if voted to power of its own.
“We came up with this number so that Congress could agree to the proposal,” the BJP leader claimed.
“Numeric value of ‘Rahul’ is 6, while that of ‘Sonia’ is 4, so we thought that 5 is something we should settle for,” a Congress source revealed the reason why Congress agreed to the BJP proposal, “Also, it is the number of future; numeric value of ‘Priyanka’ is 5!”
(reporter tweets here. The numeric values of names quoted in the report above are actually correct and not fake! Those interested can cross check them by substituting 1 for A, 2 for B, 3 for C… 25 for Y, 26 for Z, and then adding them up. A grand sum of say 149 will amount to 1+ 4+9=14=1+4=5 thus giving 5 as the numeric value for that name)