Sunday, 19th November, 2017

Snippets

Impressed by male passengers' extraordinary staring skills, Delhi Metro to launch free Astronomy courses

28, Oct 2015 By Chinmay Deshmukh

New Delhi: In a move that could prove to be a huge boon for the ‘Skill India’ campaign recently kick-started by the Government, Delhi Metro is launching free astronomy courses for men who are exceptionally talented at staring at women for long duration inside the Metro trains. The project is being done in collaboration with the ISRO, India’s premier space research organization.

Now astronomy course for Delhi metro passengers
Now astronomy course for Delhi metro passengers

Talking about the motivation behind such innovative approach, the Chief Executive of Delhi Metro said one of the directors came up with the idea while reading successive news reports on recent achievements in space exploration by ISRO.

Faced with the enormous challenge of dealing with increased staring and harassment problem in the Metro, he immediately approached ISRO with the idea.

Process of admission of students for the first batch has already been initiated. Based on their staring duration and intensity, candidates are being categorized into ‘Distinguished Creeps’, ‘Creeps of Class I/Class II/Class III’, and ‘Creeps with potential’.

ISRO too seems excited about the collaboration. “Having reached Mars last year, our target now is to study distant stars beyond our solar system,” ISRO spokesperson said.

“However, to track orbital movements of distant stars, their continual observation is essential. Our telescopes are not sophisticated enough to perform this task. The state-of-art telescope that we have can only focus on a star for 13.4 minutes. But Class-I creep from the course has reportedly stared at a girl for 31.5 minutes right from Mandi House straight on till Badarpur without blinking even once,” he added with a grin.

“That’s impressive! I have never seen anything like that before. We hope after finishing the course they will join our space exploration centers,” he said with optimism.

Metro officials are still working out the mode of delivery of lectures. The last coach of every Metro train will be reserved for starers. Classes will be conducted through announcements during their daily commute.

Mr. Shakhi Nariman, the iconic voice behind the Metro announcements, has been roped in for the program. When we approached Mr. Nariman for comments, we found him at a studio recording lectures for the course. Some of the announcements we could overhear included, “Agla grah Mangal hai,yaha vayu, bhumi, aur jal ki talash kare, kripya sawdhani se tadiye,” he said.

Meanwhile, there has been protest from feminist groups against the decision of limiting the course only for male passengers. They argue that female passengers are equally talented at staring, albeit at clothes and shoes of other girls.

Delhi Metro spokesperson declined to comment on the issue, mumbling something about the ‘noise’ and ‘gossiping’ problem. However, he said, depending on the success of their first batch, course may be remodeled and expanded, adding philosophically, “After all, only when it’s dark enough, can you see the stars.”