Tuesday, 24th October, 2017

Snippets

Gym Instructor fails to mention the word Protein during conversations, gets fired from the job

18, Jun 2016 By The Satire Sadhu

The incident occurred in the posh gym of the city ‘DoublyBody Fitness center’.  The gym is well famous in the city for its infamous results and exclusive packages specially designed for Indians.

Gym instructor discussion everything with member except Protein
Gym instructor discussion everything with member except Protein

One such example being: use of Gym for 15 days for a complete 1 year package. Where in 7 days, one must be attended within first two weeks and rest 8 days, can be attended during any time of the year.

When Mr. Single Body went to inquire about the recent lay-off incident, owner of the Gym Mr. Maar Tod-de, who was also a state level winner and runner up of Mr. India competition instead started promoting and Talking about this package,

“This particular package is very famous. As 90% of the people who attend Gym come only 10% time in the year and rest 10 % comes for 90% of time. Considering busy schedules of people and n number of excuses we have this very useful package. Here your subscription stays valid for full 1 year, so you can tell your neighbors and friends about your gym membership; however you may come maximum up to 15 days only.”

He further added, “At certain times we see some over-enthusiastic people joining this package and we fear they might up end up attending gym for more than 15 days in a year. In such cases, after 4-5 days we start sending them daily motivation messages like, ‘Sound sleep is necessary for good health,’ ‘One should take at least 9 hours of sleep for better health,’ ‘Earth is the only planet with pizza and chocolate , so eat them’, ‘Follow your heart’ ( at least in the early morning, when it tells you to go to sleep) and so on and so forth.

However, as the main bizarre incident was getting diverted from the interview, Faking News Reported asked about the recent lay-off at Gym. Talking about this Mr. Maar Tod-de said, “It is very unfortunate that we are getting Gym Instructors like Mr. Abhi BodyBanya, who are missing the basic principles of Fitness training. A trainer should always advise people about their fitness like a nutrition expert regardless of the fact that he/she smokes and drinks.”

Gym instructor discussion everything with member except Protein
The Protein Powder which lost all its charm after not getting referred

“I mean who cares if you are blessed with good body. Your job is to guide people about body building and advise them on food intakes which they already know ( like self –realization; what Buddha said – knowing what you already know). Also,  one should use words like protein, Vitamin B12 , Fibers, Carbohydrates etc. in conversation with members regardless of the fact that the instructor himself/herself has failed in Science in standard 10-B with 9 marks,” he added.

Talking about the incident when Ms. Shyam Sundari,  who is a receptionist cum manager at Gym said, “I received a couple of complaints regarding this Gym Instructor not guiding members properly. He only kept about discussing Modi and Rahul Gandhi during conversation. I mean what is this? This is not Barkha Dutt’s show,” he said with a frown.

“Those kind of discussions with members are required but what is more required is discussions on Fitness of Bollywood celebrities and their diet plans, their exercises and some important points about day-to-day food habits of members, so that they know they are eating wrong, they should realize that they are spending more money on eating, which is wrong and they should rather spend on gyming. So, I went on to monitor him and dragged him in some discussions, but to my greatest surprise he never used the word protein for two days continuously. Protein is like to-be of Fitness Training. How can one form a sentence without it? There should be some professionalism,” he added.

As the conversation reached its’ conclusion, Faking News Reporter Mr Single Body who was just about to leave  as he was drained and needed to have some protein shake; heard the words, ‘Aaj chest marte hain’.