Saturday, 21st October, 2017

Snippets

Guy gets Masters degree in Procrastination after delaying exercise plans for 45 months

12, Jul 2017 By Akash Vadera

It was a proud moment for Andheri-based 25 year old Aalas Kumar, when he was conferred with Masters Degree in Procrastination by the State University. He completed his masters in procrastination after delaying his exercise plans for not 1, not 2 but for whole 45 months.

We congratulated him on the phone and asked him to give an interview to us. After delaying the interview for 36 times, we finally got hold of him and he said, “Now that I have already delayed this 36 times, you must have gotten an idea of why I truly deserve this Masters degree. If I wanted I could have delayed it for 36 times more.” We were grateful that he didn’t.

When asked to tell more about his degree, he stated, “Since my childhood, I have been delaying everything. Other kids are born in 9 months. But I was born after 18 months. The first 9 months my mother thought she was pregnant but it was just that she was fat. Since then, I have become a Master of Procrastination. I delay plans. I delay homework. I delay trains by pulling chain. I delay flights by pretending I am getting a stroke, like Madhavan does at the start of 3 idiots. In fact, I have been delaying bathing for the last 15 days.”

After spraying the whole place with deodorants, we continued the interview. He added, “And then it struck me that I can do a post graduation in procrastination. You see, I am an engineer and procrastination is gifted to us as a dowry. I thought why not complete masters in delaying. But I delayed even this idea for 2 years. However, today I have finally achieved it.”

He further added, “I was not sure about the things I should delay to complete my Masters degree. And then I asked myself ‘What’s a thing that people delay the most? Exercising!’ And this is when I decided I would do my masters in procrastinating exercise plans.”

When asked whether it was tough, Aalas stated, “Yes it was very tough in the beginning. To delay something, you need to establish the fact that you are going to do that. I told my parents that I am starting exercising. Obviously, I had plans to delay that, but my parents didn’t. Each day they used to force me to go the gym. Each day I used to convince them by making up genuine reasons. It was a very tough situation for me. But I didn’t give up. And here I am.”

We couldn’t continue the interview as he had to go collect his Masters degree, which he has been planning to collect since 55 days.