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Grammar Nazi acquires power to spot mistakes before they are made

04, Sep 2013 By indianpsycho

New Delhi. After 6 years of intensive meditation and hard work like correcting spellings and grammar, 25-year-old Vyakaran Chopra claims to have acquired the ability to find grammatical and other mistakes in English even before someone has composed the sentence.

The first year student of BA Eng (Hons) started his Nazism 5 years back when he was in the first year for the first time. He started correcting those mistakes committed by others, which he used to commit himself and for which he was getting reprimanded by his teacher.

Slowly he started spotting original mistakes. The ‘Wren & Martin’ holy grammar book that his father gave him on his 22nd birthday came in handy. Later he accepted Google as his guru.

Grammar Nazi
They are conspiring to take over the Wor(l)d

“I would search for terms like ‘lain or laid’ or ‘compliment or complement’ whenever I’d spot such words used by someone in my social network. More often than not, there would be a grammatical mistake, and I’d correct them!” Vyakaran recounted his scholastic exercise.

What started as a normal fault finding hobby gradually turned into an obsession where the man now can even tell if the yawn and sneeze of a person is grammatically correct or not.

After months of nose poking, trolling, and begging for attention, Vyakaran claims to have acquired a divine ability, where, by just looking at the face and body language of a person, he can tell if the next sentence the person is going to write or speak will have any errors or not.

“That person may not have to be physically there, I can do the same by just having a look at his virtual profile. Not only this I can also tell the number of errors he will make,” claimed the Usain Bolt of Grammar Nazism.

Vyakaran’s ability to immediately trace any aberration in 8000 word long blog is totally unique and unquestionable. One can gauge his success from the fact that he has maximum number of followers blockers on Twitter.

“The other day he asked me if I were only 6 months old when I tweeted a picture of my 6 months old doggy with the text ‘At the age of 6 months, I find him the loveliest.’ What kind of a jerk comes up with that response when you are expecting ‘awwww’ and ‘so cute’ as responses,” said Shilpi, who blocked Vyakaran last night.

Sources tell Faking News that Vyakaran is being considered by the Guinness Book of World Records for correcting the maximum numbers of grammatical and spelling errors. The record is currently held jointly by MS Office’s Spell Check and former law minister Ashwini Kumar.