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God mighty pissed off at random usage of phrases like “god level”

16, Oct 2009 By Pagal Patrakar

Heaven. God almighty is reported to be highly upset and unhappy with human beings, especially the younger generation of India, for using phrases like “god level”, “godgiri”, “tu god hai be”, and “awesome” among others. God’s office has issued an advisory note calling upon people to practice discretion while using such terms, as they are deemed disrespectful to God. The note doesn’t make it clear whether God will punish people if they continued to use such phrases.

“You guys declared Cricket as a religion and Sachin as a god. God just smiled, he was rather cool with it, but now you people are stretching it just too far. One of you would crack a PJ and others would laugh asininely and term the PJ as god level. What the fuck is this! Do you guys have even the slightest of the idea about the level of God and his PJs? Just remember, God also created Rakhi Sawant.” Vinamra Vilupt, the Executive Assistant to the God’s office said agitatedly.

God, who seems happy in this picture, is reportedly very unhappy with us
God, who seems happy in this picture, is reportedly very unhappy with us

Vinamra told our correspondent, who is in heaven after being shot dead for writing satire on Indian politicians, that even though God has not expressed his unhappiness publicly, people on earth must be circumspect while using these terms. He pointed out that phrases like awesome were meant to be used very selectively to praise awe-inspiring creations of God, but now just about anything by any human being is termed as awesome by fellow human beings.

Vinamra refused to allow our correspondent to directly interview God.

“What an audacity! Back on earth you reporters are happy to publish the press releases issued by companies and the government almost verbatim, and here you want to interview the Almighty God. Another question and I’d get you transferred to Hell.” Vinamra cautioned our correspondent, who straightway faxed the advisory note to our office on Earth.

Back on earth, living correspondents of Faking News contacted various priests and babas, none of whom could vouch for the authenticity of news. In fact we were shocked to know that none of them had even heard the name of Vinamra Vilupt, which made us doubt if our dead correspondent was fooling us or these living priests were fooling the rest of us.

But some sociolinguists have echoed the sentiments of God’s office and have cautioned people against using such expressions in daily parlance, as it can fill human beings with delusions of grandeur.