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Dawood applies to become Pakistan's ambassador to India to enjoy diplomatic immunity

10, Sep 2015 By @jurnoleast

Karachi: India’s most wanted fugitive Dawood Ibrahim has expressed his desire to be Pakistan’s ambassador to India in an effort to enjoy diplomatic immunity and fulfill his wish of coming back to India.

Possibly, the next ambassador of Pakistan to India
Possibly, the next ambassador of Pakistan to India

Speaking to Faking News, his close aide and spokesperson Ismail Rodrigues said, “Yesterday Dawood bhai was watching a news report on an Indian news channel. The news was about a Saudi diplomat being accused of torturing his maids. Bhai thought that the diplomat will face jail and will have to live the rest of his life under the clutches of painfully long Indian judicial system. But he was shocked to know that the diplomat is most likely to get away due to diplomatic immunity enjoyed by him under Vienna convention.”

“Dawood bhai thought, if a similar arrangement could be made for him too and wanted to know everything about Vienna convention. Luckily there are still a few libraries left in Pakistan, which fundamentalists have not burnt yet. We got books related to foreign affairs for bhai. Like an engineering student on the eve of exams, bhai locked himself in his room and read every book related to Vienna convention. It seems only diplomats can enjoy this immunity, so bhai has asked Pakistani authorities to make him an ambassador to India,” he added.

Our source in Pakistan, who is close to government authorities confirmed the news and said, “Yes Dawood had indeed asked to be made an ambassador to India. He also wanted to know what he would have to do as an ambassador, so that his ‘regular business’ does not clash with his responsibilities as an ambassador. Humne toh bhai Dawood miyan ko bata diya ki ambassador ka kaam jyada kuch nahi hai. Kabhi ceasefire violation ho gaya toh India wale bulayenge, tab muh dikhake wapas aana hai. Karna kuch bhi nahi. Kabhi separatists ko lunch ya dinner pe bulana, itna hi karna hai bas.”

Apparently, the don was very happy with the prospect of getting respect as diplomat in India in spite of the charges leveled against him.

There is no confirmation yet, but the decision making authority in Pakistan, that is the Pakistani army, is seriously considering making Dawood the ambassador to India.

Meanwhile, Indian authorities, oblivious to this new development were still checking out google maps to find out Dawoods current location.