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Azam Khan’s buffaloes to be 2014 FIFA World Cup's Paul the Octopus

14, Jun 2014 By Sudhanshu Chopra

Lucknow. The football world, rendered directionless by the demise of soothsayer Paul the Octopus, has found its order back again. And in the picture are none other than the celebrated buffaloes of SP leader Azam Khan, who have taken it upon themselves to restore the spice of psych to the sport, thus taking over from the deceased Paul.

Talented Buffaloes of Azam Khan.
Talented Buffaloes of Azam Khan.

Sources close to the cattle confirm that the divine power of the buffaloes came to light a few hours before the start of World Cup opener between Brazil and Croatia, when they refused to eat the one day old imported fodder, but gladly chewed up the three days old homemade fodder, thus precisely predicting a 3-1 win of home team Brazil over foreigners from Croatia.

Ramlal, who fed the buffaloes on the night of the event, had much to share, “I observed this queer behaviour in them last night, but couldn’t make out anything of it. The next day, when I learnt about the match results, I had no doubt. Everything became crystal clear.”

Though Azam Khan himself was not available for comment, informants close to the minister said that the supernatural ability of the buffaloes did not develop overnight. It had all started since they had mysteriously disappeared a few months back.

“Any man would be deceived into believing that our buffaloes were lost. But they had actually found themselves,” one of them said with a wide grin, claiming a holy meeting between the buffaloes and God to have taken place during the course of time they had remained vanished from Azam Khan’s farmhouse.

Meanwhile, as the scientists toil to find a rational justification for the turn of events, RJD leader and fodder expert Lalu Prasad Yadav, has already disembarked on his journey to Uttar Pradesh. He plans to seek the blessings of the holy buffaloes, and take back home the dust of their hooves. When asked about how much true these events were, Lalu quipped, “This bovine is divine!”