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AMU forms committee to write manual for having sex on campus

19, Feb 2010 By Pagal Patrakar

Aligarh. After suspending a professor for being gay, Aligarh Muslim University has formed a high-level committee to compile a set of dos and don’ts for having sex on the university campus. The committee will submit their report, and a set of handbooks, by the end of this month, containing detailed description of acceptable and commendable sexual behavior by students, faculty and other members of the AMU society.

The pressing need for such sexual guidelines was felt when the campus was shocked by visuals of a sting operation showing an almost retired male professor enjoying sex with a male rickshaw-puller. Some students had valiantly and strategically placed the cameras to expose the pervert professor, pushing the AMU authorities into action, who immediately suspended the stung professor.

“This incident clearly shows that anything that happens on the campus can’t be called a private act, as they can become public anytime. Hence it’s imperative that people living on the campus lead an exemplary life, both in private as well as in the public domain. We have decided to issue guidelines in this regard, and sex is the first thing that comes to our mind.” Prof P K Abdul Azis, VC, AMU, said.

Sex for Dummies
The committee at AMU promises to come up with a better manual than earlier attempted by many

The composition of the committee is not yet known and speculations are rife if the members were worthy of representing the AMU society. This has caused a heated debate on the campus.

“We don’t know if there are any women members in the committee.” protested a Seema, a second year BA student, while rickshaw-pullers working in and around the campus worried if any kind of relationship with them could be declared illicit and unlawful.

Others worried if there could be some cross-dressers or pedophiles on the campus, who might have sneaked into the committee and could thrust their sense of morality on others. Others claimed that AMU was virtually a city in itself and one-size-fits-all kind of rules can’t be applied to the campus.

“Today it’s sex, what would be the next on the menu? A manual telling everyone what’s normal and accepted on campus while taking a bath and using toilets?” wondered Irfan, an engineering student, questioning the basic idea behind forming such a committee.

Nonetheless, AMU authorities are confident of coming up with a set of guidelines that would help the university reclaim its loss of glory and reputation due to the sting operation.

“No, it won’t be a rip-off of Kamasutra; our people are capable to creating new guidelines.” averred Prof Azis.