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Snippets

Airlines offer “Accent on Arrival” for Indians going abroad

03, Feb 2014 By Agnel

London, UK. After their “Double your Check-in luggage” program, British Airways has pioneered this time with other like-minded Airlines like Continental and Virgin Atlantic to offer an “Accent on Arrival” program on their flights.

The purpose of this program would be to help Indian students, who move abroad for greener pastures, gain an American or British accent so that they could record videos to send back home and speak better on Skype and Google+.

“Indian students can get even better grades, and professionals can get better performance, if they save time getting that accent,” Anthony, the program director of “Accent on Arrival” claimed.

American Accent
One will not need to click such ads or enroll in such programs after arrival

“We are offering this free to students, but this program is also available for software engineers going onsite or anyone else going abroad for more than a couple of weeks. But they will have to pay for it,” Anthony told Faking News.

Given that stakeholder buy-in was vital to the success of this program, the airlines have roped in the state governments of Gujarat and Andhra Pradesh to inform all students and IT professionals with H1/L1 visas going on-site about this program.

Funding for the program came in from unexpected quarters in the form of Korean carmaker Hyundai, which is also gifting their Accent line of vehicles to the parents of all students who participate in the program. Such parents will be chosen through a lucky draw.

“We are trying to associate ourselves with foreign accent. If we successfully position ourselves like that, our sales should shoot up,” a Hyundai marketing manager claimed.

The participating airlines claim that it’s possible to develop the required accent while in the flight. Students who have enrolled are seeing the effects of this almost immediately.

This reporter heard one senior who had come to pick a junior from the same university comment, “I spoke to you before you left; you sounded very Indian – then how did you get this accent all of a sudden in the flight?”

The junior smiled and showed to him the brochure of the program. The senior who is now one semester old in the States now repents having left his motherland just 4 months earlier. He looked dejected as he said, “Had I come for my MS at this time – I too would have been more American than I currently am!”

He was further dejected when as his junior asked him if he was supporting the SeaHawks or the Broncos for this Super Bowl.

“They are teaching more than just accent!” the senior confirmed to this Faking News reporter.

Sources tell that talks are going on with other major carriers like Emirates and Abu Dhabi airlines to offer more such programs such as “Affluence on Arrival” or “Arab on Arrival”.

Air India has reluctantly refused to participate in this program owing to pressure from the moral police who claimed that this was a western ploy to pollute the beautiful minds (and accents) of us Indians.