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After failing to impress colleagues with business jargons, father now using them to impress his 4 yrs old son

13, Feb 2016 By Hemant Bijapurkar

Bangalore: A Senior Manager working with a city based IT company has reportedly started using office jargon on his 4 yrs old son after none of them were able to remotely interest any of his colleagues.

Krishanan Swamy, who works for Tinfosys said that he uses them on his son after he doesn’t stop crying or pays any attention even after being mollycoddled for hours.

Dad teaching his kid some jargon
Dad teaching his kid some jargon

We spoke to Mr. Swamy who said, “I used to think that using seemingly intelligent clichéd jargon would help me land laurels but the only things I managed to land were shoes on my face. So I decided to shift their usage to my 4 year old son who would probably be less exposed to them.”

“Earlier every time my son used to howl for some reason I used to start with, ‘Beta Chanda mama yahan kai, Suraj chachu wahan hai‘ but it pissed him off even more. So now when he whines about how much he has to eat I go, ‘Eat the elephant one at a time’ or when he cried about not having friends, I ask him to ‘gain traction’ or when his mother didn’t listen to him I asked him use ‘leverage’ over her. So after some days when I stopped using new jargons and repeated old ones he asked me to ‘broaden my horizons’ and ‘increase my bandwidth’. He will one day surely be a very successful HR professional,” he added.

The classmates and the teacher of the kid are reportedly getting annoyed off after the kid has started repeating jargon.

We spoke to the teacher to find out more about their annoyance. She said, ” I was asking the students that if they have 2 apples and I give them 5 oranges then how many fruits would they have then suddenly the kid stood up and said that you can’t compare Apple to oranges and every time the kids play soccer he yells the ball’s in your court now. And when I questioned his father over the kid’s poor grades he replied with not my diagnostic. With that kid in the class, I feel like I am working in some IT company.”