San Fransisco, USA. In a shocking news to the Indian masses, it has been revealed by Faking News that the Twitter Inc. is behind the ordeal taking place outside Rampal’s Satlok Ashram in Hisar.
A hacker from South India who called himself as xxxRamboxxx had mailed us hundreds of conversation happening between Twitter headquarters in US and Twitter India headquarters. The hacker also mailed us further hundred of mails and chats between Twitter India team and Sant Rampal’s cyber army. He revealed that he was trying to hack Twitter employees official mails and ended up seeing such shocking mails being circulated among them.
After going through the mails, it was evident that Twitter was not only financing the private army of Sant Rampal, but was also behind the Z-security arrangement for Baba Ramdev. Most of the mail exchanges were titled with the subject “Operation ServerUncrash”.
Apparently, most of the mails were talking of Asaram Bapu and how Twitter employees should prevent risk rather than letting it occur. One of the mail from someone whose last name is Smith to Ramachandran of Indian branch reads:
“We have to be very careful about not crashing our servers. India, being a heavily populated country, we run on the risk of losing many of our databases due to huge volume of tweets from its citizens. In the past, followers of one Hindu saint Asaram Bapu, had been found crashing 214 servers of Twitter with their daily trend and it incurred us a loss of 450 million US$. Costolo doesn’t want to run bankrupt. Even our previous attempt to jailbreak Asaram ended up in failure, as he suggested our secret service group to beg the prison warden to open the prison door, instead of breaking in. “
Another mail sent on August 2013 from Mr. Anant to someone whose last name is Thomson, mentioned about the Baba Siddique iftar incident.
“Our mission succeeded after Siddique finally made it happen. SRK and Salman hugged each other. This will stop the fights between SRK-Salman fans and reduce the load on our servers. We are streamlining the load to other servers so that American teenagers post valuable trends on Bieber and Kim Kardashian. We are also urging SRK and Salman to renounce Twitter and use some other social media, so that their huge chunk of followers leave our site. Our next biggest headache is Indian elections that is going to take place next year.”
As per the above two mail excerpts, we can be convinced that Twitter is joining hands with Twitter India and famous Indian personalities to work on reducing their server load, thereby avoiding any future server loss. But, we were shocked when we found that Twitter has infact, been and is financing the current fiasco at Hisar. Let us take a look at chat conference between Rampal’s Major General Dharmpal Singh, Twitter India Server team head Mohan Ram and Twitter Chief Operating Head John Doe.
DoeJ: Hey Ram! How is it at Hisar now?
RamM: Good Doe! We are sending more reinforcements. Keeping police at bay. We can’t risk another Asaram Bapu event destroying our servers. These devotees of Rampal are more ferocious than Bapu’s. If we let him get arrested, forget our job.
DoeJ: Gosh man! I have lost sleep for the past 8 days, ever since I heard about another Hindu saint getting arrested. Dharm, how is everything there?
SinghD: Fine ji. It will be good if you could send some F-16 and Drones. We are using Sant Rampal Baba’s power of hiding behind women and children, to win this battle.
DoeJ: Stay strong team. I will send more money and airdrop food. F-16s on the way to provide backup. Pressurising Obama to call Modi to stop such arrests.
We are the first to expose the connection between Twitter and the current goondaism taking place outside Satlok Ashram in Hisar. Will the Indian government take steps to control Twitter trying to influence Indian events? Will Modi, who used Twitter all along his election campaign, go against the social media? Only time has to explain.
Update: Even before Rampal is arrested, trends have been started by Rampal’s devotees on Twitter, the latest being #SaveSantRampalAndDontAbuseGodmenWeWillNotTolerate . There are rumors outside Twitter offices that they are planning to sell the company and join Google or Facebook.