Kota, Rajasthan. Excited by the recent revelations that people are being paid 0.5 US Dollar (31 rupees as per the latest falling rate of INR) for every tweet they tweet using hash tags sponsored by political parties, major coaching institutes located in Kota, the ‘Coaching Capital of India’, have decided to offer coaching classes in Twitter.
“This opportunity couldn’t have come at a better time when Mr. Sibal is hell-bent on ruining the Joint Entrance Exam (JEE) format for engineering courses. New JEE course enrolments are down by as much as 23% this year as the Duckworth-Sibalewis System used for calculating JEE ranks this has left many a student feeling like lame ducks,” Mr. VK Bansal of Bansal Classes told Faking News why they shifted from IITs to social media.
“Simple math would tell you that at a median rate of 0.5 US Dollar per tweet, and keeping in mind a falling Rupee, a Class XII graduate student, by tweeting 8 hours a day, can straightaway start earning more than a TCS engineer! In fact, the day is not far when IITs will introduce B.Tech. (Twitter) and B.Tech (Trolling). We are preparing students well in advance,” Bansal added.
As of now, Bansal Classes is offering four classroom courses viz. ‘Vela’ (Basic Tweeting), ‘4Sale’ (Advance Tweeting), ‘Mahabharata’ (Basic Trolling) and ‘Spartaa’ (Advance Trolling).
For students holed up in Kota, it is a #win-#win situation. For instance, Rahul, hailing from the Sadbhavna Group Housing Society, Rohini, Delhi, who has enrolled in the ‘Mahabharata’ (Basic Trolling) course, said that “The coaching classes sort of pay for themselves since I tweet for at least five hours after classes every day and use my earnings to pay my fees.”
“Think of the immense employment opportunities such courses would open up in today’s job starved market. And, add to that the social benefits of the new found respect for twitter addicts!” Mr. Gaurav Bansal, son of Mr. VK Bansal, told Faking News.
“We are training our students for real-world situation by making them practice by using hash tags like #Pappu, #Feku , #NaMo4PM, #Rahul4PM, #HoRahaBharatVinaash, etc. They will be ready to join the social armies of various political parties immediately upon completion of the course. There will be no need for using Twitter bots and photos of dead people,” Gaurav further added.