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Celebrations break out in Palika Market after hearing news about possible ban on porn sites

03, Dec 2014 By sunnyyy

New Delhi. Festivities have started in the Palika Market after the news became public of a possible ban on pornographic websites through web filters by the government following a directive by the Supreme Court of India.

“It is the most progressive step ever taken by the government. It is in sync with our culture. These porn websites are a menace to our society. We have always been vocal about DVDs and CDs,” a jubilant shopkeeper of Palika Market said as he dusted off CDs of X-rated movies.

Porn CDs
These products are all set to come back in the real market

It seems like Christmas, along with Diwali, has come early this year in this secular market or for the first time ever in this decade. Every shop keeper is busy bursting crackers, distributing sweets, decorating his shop with posters of adult movies.

“This is like the late 90s all over again. I have never seen this revelry in my lifetime here in the market. I have placed an order of 1000 DVDs of different themes. There are going to be lots of offers on our DVDs, we will be giving up to 30% discount too. We are also in talks with some e-commerce companies to promote our DVDs in their entertainment section,” revealed Vineet Popatiya, the proprietor of “Woh wali movies” showroom to our reporter.

There have been confirmed reports of lobbying being done by the union of the shopkeepers of the Palika Market to bring such a life changing law into force.

“Had it not been for this law, we would have gone bankrupt. Thanks to the government for bringing our achchhe din! As a token of our appreciation, we have sent 47 sacks of DVDs to the residences of the lawmakers and lawyers who championed  for our cause,” said Mr. Singh, Chairman of the union of Palika and Janpath shopkeepers.

According to our reliable sources, there are unreliable reports that a team of hackers is thinking of starting an online course on how to circumvent web filters through 3 easy steps to access banned porn websites. However, the shopkeepers are confident that the government will take steps to nab those cyber criminals and help the old traditional industry of porn CDs and books grow.

When Faking News contacted the directors of Brazzers.com for a comment over these developments in India, the MD said, “We might have to shut down the business and a lot of porn-stars will finally have to audition for a real movie because India is one of our top markets and in this highly competitive business. I think the Indian government is acting on behalf of people like Mahesh Bhatt who are poaching our talent.”