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All Facebook posts to have “Kapil Sibal likes this” by default

06, Dec 2011 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. Facebook has agreed to the demands of union minister Kapil Sibal to screen content before they go live on the website. The social networking website has announced that it will hire a team of young men and women to censor content being posted by millions of users from India. The team will only allow “acceptable” content to be published online, all of which will be identified by a “Kapil Sibal likes this” sign below it.

“If a status update doesn’t have a ‘Kapil Sibal likes this’ response by default, it means that our filters have somehow missed it,” a representative of Facebook told Faking News, “We appeal to our law abiding Indian users to immediately report such status updates for abuse. Our team will review it and give it a ‘Kapil Sibal likes this’ mark if they find it clean.”

Kapil Sibal Facebook like
If he doesn’t like it, you can’t say it

Sources suggest that government has expressed happiness over the decision by Facebook and has promised all support in implementing the grand censorship plan. Earlier, government had hired thousands of unemployed youth for Facebooking and Tweeting under NREGA, who could now become the talent pool for hiring by Facebook.

Explaining the whole mechanism, Facebook authorities informed that the company has asked for a list of “objectionable” terms from the government, which will be used by an automated bot to hold a status update if it contained any of those keywords. Such pending updates will later be manually checked by the team.

The bot, as well as the team, will get administrative rights through a profile named “Kapil Sibal”. Once the bot or a member of the team approves a post, the profile will automatically ‘like’ the post, which will cause the “Kapil Sibal likes this” sign to appear by default.

99% of the Facebook updates will be cleaned by us, though 1% may go through,” Rahul Gandhi (not to be confused with Congress youth leader), a Facebook employee claimed, “But if people cooperate, we will purge even those remaining 1% of the updates.”

Facebook team agreed to give a demonstration to Faking News on how the censorship program will work. Our reporter logged in and wrote “Narendra Modi is a good leader” as status update, which never appeared on his profile, not even as a pending post.

“They have given us a list of blacklisted words too, which means such posts are straightway marked as spam and deleted,” Facebook authorities explained.

Our reporter then wrote “I was screwed in office today”, which appeared on his Facebook wall, but was put in moderation. “Sexually explicit terms” was the explanation. Even a status update with just the number “69” was put in moderation for the same reasons.

Finally, our reporter could get a “clean” post in his fourth attempt. He wrote “ZERO” and it said “Kapil Sibal likes this”.

Pagal Patrakar