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Why social media is responsible for Dandruff and Dowry

24, Sep 2013 By idiot420

While the government thinks that social media cause communal riots, the think tank at Faking News has found out that it’s a much bigger menace. Apart from communal riots, these are seven major problems that India faces due to social media:

“If Chowmein can be held responsible for rapes, why can’t Social Media be blamed for riots and every other shit?” argued a Politician with zero reputation.

Corruption: There is a competition among the people to buy new cars and upload its pictures on Facebook. People also want to get likes for their check-ins at luxurious hotels. Such desires have pushed them to amass wealth through unethical ways and are giving rise to corruption.

Economic growth: you guessed it right. Social media is causing people to waste time and hitting industrial productivity.

Match fixing: Many people on Twitter and Facebook flaunt their earlier tweets or status updates that predicted an event in a match. This has led people to fix matches so that their predictions come true and they can flaunt their tweets and updates when fixing happens.

Alcoholism: It’s a fact that, a person writes a better tweet or Facebook status under influence of alcohol. Likes and re-tweets hungry people often consume heavy alcohol to achieve this, which has certainly aired the problem of alcoholism in society.

Dandruff: Apart from bad breath, dandruff is a major problem that the Indian society is trying to fight. This happens because youngsters are stuck with social media the whole day and ignore hygiene.

Malnutrition: After typing, trolling, and chatting the whole day, your fingers start to pain and need rest. As a result, it becomes very difficult to lift any food items to eat, thus resulting in malnutrition.

Dowry: Since all your focus and energy is on updating status messages and tweets to impress girls, you end up jobless and earn nothing. In order to survive and manage your daily expenditure, you start looking for dowry.