Thursday, 14th December, 2017

Snippets

Understanding Accounts, the Politician way

21, Oct 2013 By sarthak

Income: Kickbacks, gunmen for security, bungalow, red beacons car, foreign picnics, money, money, money, money, and more money.

Expenditure: Bottles of alcohol that are distributed for buying votes.

Non-Current Asset: Votes received in the election whose benefits can be reaped for next 5 years.

Current Assets: Cash and gold kept in lockers and those deposited at Swiss bank accounts.

Accounting
The political pen

Non-Current Liability: Flattering of party high command which a politician has to do for the whole lifetime.

Current Liability: The money and support received from criminals, religious gurus, and businessman against which you have to grant favors to them on winning election.

Investment: Money paid in party fund for buying the right to contest election.

Capital Loss: Losing an election.

Contingent Liability: Chances of being caught in a sting operation or going to jail.

Going Concern: The concept that no matter whether a politician goes to jail, no matter how severe charges are against him, no matter how old he becomes, he still remains a politician.

Joint Ventures: Running a coalition government where everyone is concerned only for themselves but pretends to be a team.

Debit: MPs and MLAs of other parties joining your party.

Credit: MPs and MLAs of your party joining other parties.

Balance Sheet: A paper on whose left hand side is the record of all the criminal cases against you and on right hand side is the total money in black and in white you have. More the number of cases, more the money, hence both sides are always balanced.

BRS: (vote)Bank Reconciliation Statement where total vote-bank is reconciled with actual number of votes received.

Earning per Share: Money looted from public for each vote given by them.

(the writer blogs here)