Thursday, 14th December, 2017

Snippets

On occasion of Dhanteras, thief decides to steal only Gold

01, Nov 2013 By idiot420

New Delhi. Following the tradition of purchasing precious metals on Dhanteras, Raju, a Delhi thief has decided to steal only gold on the auspicious day.

With help of sources from Delhi Chor Bazaar, Faking News somehow managed to get an opportunity to talk to Raju, who claimed he was a religious person and he had all the rights to celebrate Dhanteras.

Gold jewelry
Raju has shortlisted some targets too

“Just because I’m chor, am I supposed to not take part in social events?” Raju argued, “By that logic, you guys should never invite politicians to inaugurate events at festivals!”

Raju further argued that he was just taking part in the custom by doing his “duty”.

“My profession is to steal, so I will steal,” the professional thief said.

Interestingly, Raju’s actions have found support among many because he used religion to justify his act. Some experts have called it the “Asaram” effect.

Even the government hasn’t been forthcoming in criticism of Raju. Instead of condemning his act of indulging in an illegal act, the government has criticized Raju for indulging in acts that can spoil the report card of the government. Experts have called this “chor chor mausere bhai” effect.

“Let him steal anything, but no gold,” Finance Minister P Chidambaram said, “If he steals gold from people, those people will buy gold to maintain their gold reserves. This will hurt the current account deficit.”

Emboldened by such reactions, Raju is all set to steal some gold tonight during the auspicious time period as declared by pundits. Faking News appeals to Bappi Lahiri and all other readers to be alert.