Saturday, 29th April, 2017
Snippets

Nitish Kumar asks Arundhati Roy to help Biharis feel paranoid like crazy

17, Mar 2013 By Pagal Patrakar

Patna. After leading a rally to demand special status for Bihar to achieve development, Chief Minister Nitish Kumar has approached essay developer Arundhati Roy to help him with this mission.

“The first step towards being eligible for special treatment is to feel victimized, and Arundhati Roy has special skills in making people feel that way,” a close aide of Nitish Kumar explained why the fiction-writer-turned-fiction-believer was approached.

Arundhati Roy
Arundhati Roy, smiling at the prospects of another piece of fiction she can come up with.

According to well-placed sources, Roy is working on a theory where she will declare Biharis as belonging to a religion distinct from Hinduism.

“This will do wonders to the victim mentality,” a source told Faking News, “Pamphlets will be distributed all across Bihar arguing that Biharis are mocked at, hated, and driven away from different parts of India because they are not Hindus.”

“Not only that, once we have a working theory that Biharis are not Hindus, it will very easy to get intellectual and international support,” the source added.

Sources further reveal that Roy is working on a cocktail of Aryan-invasion premise, Brahminism-Buddhism relationship, and some totally random shit to come up with a new theory.

It’s not yet clear if Nitish Kumar has agreed to adopt this theory because his alliance partner BJP will surely oppose any such move. However, sources claim that Arundhati Roy has decided to go ahead with her essay whether or not Nitish Kumar gives a green signal.

“She’s excited at the prospects of trolling the whole nation again,” a source claimed.