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Snippets

New research says drunk driving increases life expectancy

18, May 2014 By Siddharth Patki

New Delhi. According to a recent research carried out by DADI (Drink and Drive Institute), drunk driving can actually increase your life expectancy. Earlier it was thought that drunk driving causes fatal accidents, thus shortening life expectancy.

Drink And Drive
Persuasive enough.

As per statistics cited in the research, 84.56% of all accident victims were non-drinkers, whereas only 15.44% were drunk. Furthermore, only 2% of 15.44% were found dead while death toll was up to 25% of 84.56% in cases of non-drinkers. All in all, your chances of death are negligible if you drink and drive.

DADI researchers are under severe scrutiny after release of this report. According to the DADI dean, they do not tend to promote drink and drive. They only collected the statistics, and like always, people can draw their own conclusions.

“We carried out this study for the safety of human race. We studied all cases of road accidents, especially those with fatalities, and came up with these numbers.  We found that in most cases, people died due to extreme injuries or heart attacks,” explained P K shah, the Dean of Drink and Drive institute.

When this Faking News reporter talked to a youth who was newly addicted to drunk driving, he explained, “That’s why we always say after drinking ‘Gaadi toh mein hi chalunga’ (I will drive no matter what!!). We are always confident of our abilities.”

“We never trust non-drinkers, because they are hypocrites,” he claimed while making the second peg.

Meanwhile, Arvind Kejriwal has accused Salman khan of being behind the report.