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Snippets

Management Trainee promoted to CEO after speaking nonsense for an hour

01, Feb 2014 By Vaibhav Anand

Mumbai. In an extraordinary feat of mental acuity, a Management Trainee in a consulting firm was promoted directly to CEO after he managed to speak nonsense extempore for an hour.

One of the many requirments to become a CEO
One of the many requirments to become a CEO

As per sources with the firm, the lucky new joinee had been, in fact, simply asked to introduce himself to other Management Trainees. However, the man launched into an awe inspiring speech, the specifics of which none of the people around him could remember later.

“It was like watching a Salman Khan movie or meeting with an accident that causes severe head trauma,” a fellow Management Trainee said.

“Tadapit Kumar,” he continued referring to the Management Trainee in question, “spoke for an hour- but his speech was so generic and full of gas that I was almost reminded of Rahul Gandhi’s interview to Arnab Goswami. Needless to say, much like Rahul Gandhi, the firm quickly promoted him to CEO, so that he might lead the company.”

“We are a consulting firm,” a senior HR executive familiar with the development told Faking News, “Our money-making capacities depend on our employees going up to clients and consistently backing ideas or models or other things underpaid interns have found for them on Google with long winding, snore inducing, and rather confusing speeches.”

“Our erstwhile CEO was very specific at times and would also give out facts and figures when asked specific questions. With Tadapit, who can let loose several bursts of verbal diarrhea in rapid succession, we have finally found someone who can back our half baked presentations with generic nonsense,” he added further.