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Hospitals panic as Bollywood actors cause steroid shortage

10, Sep 2014 By Ash Kabir

Guess who doesn't use steroid?
Guess who doesn’t use steroid?

Mumbai. Today the Indian Medical Association declared a formal state of emergency after several major pharmaceutical companies notified them that Bollywood actors had bought their entire supply of steroids for the next five years.

“It’s a disaster,” declared Dr. Patel of Rajiv Gandhi hospital. “50 year old Bollywood actors want to be seen having 8-pack abs, rocket launching goons in South Indian remakes. So they buy all the growth hormones they can find. Meanwhile, we can’t treat MS patients or people with renal failure.”

Dr. Bunta Singh, of a different hospital, again named after Rajiv Gandhi, also added, “These actors must be taking steroids like jalebis. Some of these them are getting chests larger than Ram Kapoor’s stomach.”

Meanwhile various stars’ PR chamchas were quick to deny any of their clients took steroids and credited their overnight abs to “yoga and awesomeness.”

The trend of muscle building hit a new low last week after Farah Khan ordered Dharmendra to “bulk up and get a six pack” for a shirtless item number in her next film tentatively titled “Slap Happy.”