Chandigarh. After a Khap leader claimed that eating Chowmein led to hormonal imbalance that transforms a normal hungry man into a rapacious rapist, lawyers in Haryana have started offering anticipatory bails to men eating chowmein.
“It’s clear that rape is caused by fast food, so a person accused of rape should be given a chance and not arrested immediately,” Pran Kakkar, a lawyer argued, “That’s why we are selling these anticipatory bails to men whom we find eating chowmein in public places.”
These lawyers, who were jobless in various courts as people preferred settling disputes through Panchayats rather than in courts, have relocated their shops in local markets and food courts, where they are offering these anticipatory bails at “attractive” prices.
“I was eating chowmein and suddenly this guy came to me and said – pehle mazaa, phir sazaa – and I was a bit confused,” recalled Pradeep Chaudhari, a Haryanvi youth, “He told me that I should get an anticipatory bail as chowmein could make me a rapist.”
Even though not totally convinced with the argument, Pradeep bought the anticipatory bail as he felt embarrassed with the lawyer constantly telling him “arey rape ho gaya toh kya karoge?”
Reports confirm that hundreds of lawyers have tied up with fast food stalls are offering combos of chowmein and anticipatory bail.
In other news, sources say that the Haryana and West Bengal governments are planning designated “chowmein eating zones” on lines of “smoking zones” in public places, so that potential rapists don’t “interact freely” with the potential victims.