Saturday, 18th November, 2017

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Experts fail to find India's No. 2 news channel after all channels declare themselves as "India's No. 1"

18, Jun 2015 By Beer & Biryani

Mumbai: In a rat race to emerge as the best news channel of the country, all the mainstream news channels – state and national broadcasters have reportedly declared themselves as “No. 1” given they could “live up to it” later. As a consequence, the much talked about “Who’s the best” survey to determine the genuine No. 1 channel was brought to an indefinite halt by the survey experts group.

“11 among the above channels claim they hold the #1 spot.”

Speaking to Faking News reporters, the head of survey group Sarvekshan Kumar said, “We collected huge data on news channels being broadcast at both regional and national levels and found everyone claiming themselves as number one. Every channel had its own parameters of comparison with who they thought to be their close competitors.”

“Some of the regional channels boasted about the number of intermediate coaching center ads they covered while some highlighted their Page 3 items’ coverage. Coming to the national channels, some compared the jibes they took at one another to qualify themselves as number one while a few compared noise levels to show why they were actually the best,” said Sarvekshan as he seemed to have lost all hope for continuing with the survey.

Sources say, these news channels are in no position to agree with their actual position as per genuine parameters and are hell bent on sticking to self-tagged number one spot.