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Don’t inhale Indian oxygen, Pakistan Taliban tells its terrorists

28, Nov 2013 By idiot420

Islamabad, Pakistan. After warning Pakistan media against praising “Indian” Sachin Tendulkar, Taliban high command has now ordered all its commanders operating in India to wear oxygen masks and carry Pakistan made oxygen cylinders to avoid inhaling Indian air.

“It is a sin to inhale enemy’s oxygen, a kind of debt,” said Taliban chief via a video message, “Besides oxygen cylinders, our fighters will also carry Pak made food items and Pakistani water and try their best not to appreciate any Indian thing.”

Terrorist
Earlier the terrorists thought that they were stopping oxygen by putting clothes on their face, but latest physics textbooks gifted to them by Imran Khan opened their eyes.

The Taliban chief talked about how the whole logistics system will be overhauled to support their new strategy. They will open their own store houses across India to maintain a regular supply of food, water, and oxygen to their onsite mujahideens.

On being asked by a leading Pakistani channel about their plan to stop inflow of Indian air at LOC, Taliban chief expressed his desire of building a wall even higher than the Great Wall of China.

However, he failed to explain that how will Taliban send their Jihadis in India if such a big wall was there at LOC.

Meanwhile, following the chief’s order, Taliban has already started training their terrorists.

“This is a very welcome step and in line with our fidayeen (suicide attackers) line of attack,” a terrorist trainer at Taliban told Faking News.

“We are putting two cylinders on the back of our terrorists – one full of Pakistani oxygen and another full of cyanide. If our mujahideens run out of oxygen, they can quickly turn into fidayeens by releasing and inhaling the cyanide gas,” the trainer explained.