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Snippets

What happened when house of famous personalities were bugged

28, Jul 2014 By Shaitaan Khopdi ™

New Delhi: While whole country is surprised why would somebody bug Nitin Gadkari when he is not even in the top 3 of BJP, Faking News  found out that similar concealed listening devices were secretly installed in the bedrooms of many famous personalities in India.

Not only that, we also analyzed the sound which was recorded. Following is the analysis:

Arvind Kejriwal: He was heard asking his wife and kids to show the receipt of all the expenses they incurred post 16th May. His son was heard sobbing when Kejriwal deducted Rs. 20 from his July pocket money because poor kid failed to produce receipt for the Ice cream he relished in peak summer of June.

Rahul Gandhi: Microphone installed in his bedroom picked up a strange humming noise. Experts from animal planet told that sound pattern suggests that there could be as many as 25000 mosquitoes in the vicinity. However scientists argue that the sound appears to be coming from dry air circulating in his head. Air can make funny noises when it is pushed around in empty vessel, told a self-styled sound analyst to Shaitaan Khopdi™ who nodded in affirmative.

Both of them labelled Faking News Modi agent after we failed to produce and analyze
Both of them labelled Faking News ‘Modi agent’ after observing that Narendra Modi’s name was absent from this report.

LK Advani: The only voice picked by the microphone was of an old video of year 2009 LS election campaign headed by the man himself. There were frequent interruptions by a female voice which appears to be saying “Ab ache din ke bare me soch soch ke rona band karo aur baahar aa ke khana kha lo.”

Manish Tewari: While the audio file of 10GB was recovered, experts are yet to understand the meaning of those sentences. Sources tell that it might take 2 months to find the meanings of words used by Tewari and further 6 months to comprehend the complex sentences.

Rajdeep Sardesai: There was clinking noise of whisky glass and bottle with CNN-IBN primetime running in background. As soon as Bhupendra Chaube’s voice was heard, TV went on mute and Rajdeep was heard humming ‘Dost dost na raha…

Barkha Dutt: She was heard talking to a lady in hushing voice, “No, I have no clue who is going to be new defense minister and don’t call me again on this number. They don’t allow us in the meetings, parties, or official foreign visits. Poora Gujju hai, hamare uper ek paisa bhi kharch karne se pehle 10 bar sochta hai ki ROI milega ya nahi.”

Abhishek Bachchan: He was heard singling lullabies to his daughter. When Faking News asked him if he was playing a house-husband, he denied the speculation. AB junior clarified that he was rehearsing the dialogues of Dhoom-4, which makes Aradhya baby go sleep in minutes.

Pritam: No conversation was picked up by the microphone installed in legendary music director’s room. Only repeated playback of some unknown Spanish, Russian songs were heard. Some songs were played in loop for almost 100 times.

Sachin Tendulkar: Sachin was heard mumbling ‘Mai Khelega’ in his sleep followed by Anjalibhabhi reminding him that he has retired now and burden of carrying 1 billion expectations now lies on Kohli’s and Raina’s shoulders.

Virat Kohli: Faking News is not an adult site, so we cannot publish the exact conversations.