Friday, 26th August, 2016
Snippets

UPA report card swapped with Indian cricket team report card

15, May 2010 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. In a bizarre development, the progress report on UPA government’s completion of one year in office was swapped with the report card of Indian team’s performance in T20 World Cup with no official able to spot the gaffe for more than 24 hours after the goof-up was made. The blunder was realized, rather fortuitously, minutes before the reports were to be made public by the respective offices.

“Phew! I’d have lost my job and corruption cases would have been initiated against me if this blunder was not spotted by my ten-year-old son, who was looking for blank sheets among my files to make paper planes.” said a PMO official on conditions of anonymity, as he breathed a sigh of relief after making emergency calls to officials in the government and the BCCI, who are often termed as ‘sources’ by the media, directing them to hold their plans of leaking the report.

UPA Report Card
But for the vigilance of a ten-year-old kid, the government could have released wrong information to the public

The official revealed that the executive summaries of both the reports were matching a lot, which led to the confusion and he ended up bringing home the wrong report.

“Consider this – Did too many parties affect the performance? – I saw this as a bullet point and had no reasons to doubt that it was about the UPA coalition partners. One or the other party of the coalition always has a problem with one or the other decision of the government. Can you blame me for the confusion?” reasoned the official.

The official pointed out several similar statements in the summary page that were highly confusing in his opinion, e.g.

  • Some people think they can not be thrown out of the system – Yuvraj Singh or A Raja?
  • Speaking to the public and media needs to be controlled – Jairam Ramesh or MS Dhoni?
  • We need to prepare ourselves better for foreign tours –bouncy pitches or foreign policy?
  • Some of the earlier members could be given a chance to serve us again – likes of Robin Utthapa or RJD?
  • Modi has to be isolated before he points fingers at us – Narendra or Lalit?

“I accept that I should have gone through the inside pages and looked for details to understand the difference.” said the PMO official, further adding that he was briefed very lousily when he was handed over the report card of the cricket team.

“The guy just smiled at me and said that it also contained a picture of Sardarji with Madam.” the official said, citing the original source of confusion.

He realized what it meant only after his ten-year-old son started laughing after seeing pictures of Harbhajan Singh lifting Nita Ambani.

Pagal Patrakar