Lucknow. Uttar Pradesh has decided to earn some revenues through sale of Mayawati statues that have been lying unused after a new government was formed by Samajwadi Party last month. Chief Minister Akhilesh Yadav, who had earlier promised not to demolish the statues, has ordered the statues to be altered a little and turned into statues of Mamata Banerjee. These modified statues would be subsequently sold to West Bengal.
“There are many similarities between Mayawati and Mamata – their names start with the same letter, both are nicknamed ‘sister’ i.e. Behenji and Didi respectively, both are unmarried, both run their respective political parties like private business, and both hate red color of their political opponents,” Gurunath Murthy, a senior bureaucrat in UP told Faking News.
Sources say that UP officials got this idea after a professor in West Bengal was arrested for forwarding a cartoon of Mamata Banerjee. This reminded them of the incident where four school children were arrested in UP for damaging a poster of Mayawati.
“While Behenji had ordered release of the schoolboys, Didi justified the arrest – this reinforced our belief that Mamata Di could love something like her own statues installed in Kolkata; maybe she’d not even need an excuse like Mayawati ji that Kanshi Ram had it in his will,” Murthy claimed.
Convinced of West Bengal’s Chief Minister’s love for herself, the officials in UP suggested Akhilesh Yadav to sell off all the statutes of Mayawati to Mamata Banerjee, to which the young CM immediately agreed.
Sources say that sculptors were straightaway kidnapped from their homes and brought to the capital to prepare an execution plan for alteration of the statues from Mayawati’s to Mamata’s.
Sculptors are reported to have said that they could easily clip off the handbags and change the facial features of the statues to suit the needs, but the biggest problem was altering the salwaar-kameez of Mayawati into Bengali saari of Mamata. Sculptors warned that if salwaar-kameez was given shape of a saari, it might start looking like the dresses worn by cheerleaders of the Kolkata Knight Riders.
“That could have angered Mamata Banerjee and her supporters, causing fissures in the federal structure of India,” Murthy said, “But fortunately we had a solution ready; we decided to use all the cloth that was used by the Election Commission to cover Mayawati and Elephant statues. We will make saari out of those covers.”
Faking News thought of contacting Mamata Banerjee’s office for a comment, but we were reminded of the jokes we had cracked on Didi, so we dropped the idea.