New Delhi. After figuring out that non-believers taking a dump around the Kedarnath temple area caused the deadly floods in Uttarakhand, Union Minister Uma Bharti has now asked opposition leaders not to take a dump anywhere near the government offices, for it could derail the good work done by the new government.
“Just as non-believers don’t have respect or faith in Hindu gods, these opposition MPs have no respect or faith in the Modi government,” Uma Bharti explained, “We can’t take any risk with these guys polluting our karmbhumi with their shit.”
She further claimed that ‘achchhe din’ as promised by the Modi government could have arrived on the very first day itself, but opposition leaders using toilets near Central Secretariat and the Parliament undid all the hard work done by the NDA government.
“The deeds of the last government are responsible for our slow start, but the real reason is these people spreading shit near our workplaces,” she claimed.
The Water Resources Minister has requested the Prime Minister to ban use of toilets by the members of opposition parties not only in North and South blocks, but also in the Parliament.
“Modi ji had termed the Parliament as temple of democracy. How can we allow excreta of these people near the temple?” she argued.
When Faking News asked where the opposition leaders will go to attend the calls of nature, she said that they could go to places like 10 Janpath or Delhi Legislative Assembly house which is lying unused as there is no state government in Delhi.
“Sonia Gandhi can’t sacrifice her toilets and bathrooms for her party men and allies?” she demanded to know.
While there was no official response from the Prime Minister’s Office over utterances by Ms. Bharti, opposition has slammed her for her superstitious and fascist views.
“They want to control our toilet habits, but we won’t give away our freedom!” thundered Congress leader Digvijay Singh, who is not an MP otherwise, “We will protest this by having a mass shitting program this Friday, and we challenge the government to stop us if they can.”
“We won’t even use flush,” he added.