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Toll booths to have a wax statue of Arnab Goswami to save attendants from getting beaten up by politicians

27, Jul 2016 By Sandeep Kadian

New Delhi: After the latest incident of a politician slapping a toll attendant, government has swung into action and decided to save helpless toll attendants from goons cum politicians. Government will install a wax statue of Arnab Goswami at all major toll booths to make the politicians behave themselves.

Toll Booth
One of the most dangerous places to work in India

Earlier, BJP’s Bahadur Singh Koli was caught on camera slapping a toll attendant in Rajasthan. Mr. Koli is a member of Lok Sabha from Bharatpur, Rajasthan. This is not the first incident of a politician slapping toll attendants after an argument and government has decided that they must put a stop to this now.

“We looked at various options. Removing tolls completely from India, arming toll attendants with AK47s, forming special toll attendants’ protection squads etc. We even thought about asking the politicians to avoid behaving like goons but none of them seemed very practical. Then we were watching an episode of The Newshour on YouTube and observed how every politician was meekly listening to Arnab scolding them. Eureka! We had our solution”, a senior official at Road Transport and Highway ministry said.

“Now we knew that politicians can behave when faced with Arnab but our next challenge was getting Arnab on every toll booth. We thought about putting up his posters but we ourselves have written there that no posters allowed. Then our minister saw some pics from Madame Tussauds museum on someone’s FB profile and we had our solution. We will make wax statues of Arnab and place them outside every toll booth. There will be a pre-recorded tape inside the wax statue and if an attendant is facing a threat from a politician, he can press a button and the statue will say ‘NEVER EVER EVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER EVER’. If someone is still throwing his weight around, attendants can press the second button, then the statue will start screaming about VVIP RACISM”, the official explained.

When we asked a politician if this plan will work, he said,”What plan? Now we have to slap twice instead of once. One slap for the toll attendant, one for that statue.”