Thursday, 21st September, 2017

Snippets

Sushil Kumar Shinde’s exclusive interview

22, Feb 2013 By Ashfaque Anees

New Delhi. History was created when Home Minister Sushil Kumar Shinde (SKS) called Faking News (FN) to give his first interview after the Hyderabad blasts. Here is an excerpt of the interview.

Read it before it gets blocked:

Sushil Kumar Shinde
Home Minister trying to read an intelligence report

FN: Thank you sir. It is an honor that you called us first!

SKS: I had no choice. All the other news channels started broadcasting my older statements from previous blasts not bothering to ask me if I had something new to say.

FN: Sad. How unfair of them!

SKS: Not really. I actually don’t have anything new to say except the three point formula.

FN: Three point formula?

SKS: Yes. 1. Foreign hand. 2. Compensation. 3. We will give a fitting reply

FN: Oh! No wonder the opposition says your response was routine.

SKS: So? Blasts are also routine in our country, so how can my response be unique every time. I am not Aamir Khan, am I?

FN: It is said you had intelligence reports that a blast would occur in Hyderabad. Why didn’t you take action?

SKS: We took action. Only that we thought it was Hyderabad the city in Pakistan. I even called my counterpart there. Don’t know why he burst into a fit of laughter though.

FN: But shouldn’t the government be alert?

SKS: Who says we aren’t. We are super alert. With all this CWG, Coalgate, Tatra truck, 2G and what not we are alert and take all precautions in …err…whatever!

FN: No, No I meant alert about blasts.

SKS: How can we? You fellows expose us left right and center. Our attention gets diverted. I blame this on the investigative media. We are so occupied ensuring we are secure from the media that we do not have time for national security.

FN: Ok forget that. Who do you think is responsible?

SKS: I told you, the media!

FN: No, I mean, responsible for the blasts?

SKS: We have left that decision to Madam.

FN: Thank you Sir, and we have left ourselves to God.