2 States is the story of a Punjabi boy Arjun Kapoor and a Tamil girl Alia Bhatt studying at IIM Ahmedabad who fall in love and want to get married. Families oppose the inter-caste union. Eventually everyone agrees and they live happily ever after. That’s all.
Seeing how popular the movie has become this election season, all political parties decided to cash in on the popularity by releasing their own versions:
BJP: The story remains exactly the same. In the last scene all characters thank Modi for the infrastructure of Ahmedabad which contributed to them falling in love & marrying each other. BJP claims helping young couples to get together in top colleges is part of Modi’s “Gujarat model of development”. ‘The End’ is replaced by ‘Abki baar…’.
2) Congress: The boy is Hindu Punjabi and Girl is Tamil Muslim. The first half wherein they fall in love remains same. Then the opposition of the families turns violent wherein rioters from Punjab and Tamil Nadu join in and create havoc in Ahmedabad. Lots of people die, hence proved Modi is a divisive & fascist leader. Sanjay Jha and Manish Tewari scream their lungs out on Newshour. Teesta Setalvad gets the girl’s mother to contest elections from Ahmedabad on a Congress ticket empowered by Rahul Gandhi.
3) Aam Aadmi Party: The boy and girl fall in love. They waste so much time in romance and drama that they actually forget to study. Consequently, they don’t score well and remain unemployed after graduation. They protest outside IIM-A and Kejriwal joins them. He calls IIM-A an Adani agent and points at the unemployment of the couple to show the Gujarat growth model as a failure. He assures 7.00% free marks to all students whose score is below 40%. He is made dean of IIM A, but quits in 49 days because there is another love story in BHU Varanasi that gains his attention.
4) Samajwadi Party:The boy and girl fall in love and have premarital sex. Azam Khan & Abu Azmi issue statements that the couple must be killed for this blasphemy. The parents oblige. End of Story.
5) Telugu Desam, Jagan Reddy’s YSRCP and TRS: There is no love story, IIM or Ahmedabad in the movie. ‘2 States’ turns out to be a documentary on the respective party’s stand on the creation of the ‘2 states’ of Telangana and Seemandhra.
6) MNS and Shiv Sena: The north indian boy celebrates valentines day with the south indian girl in public. We all know what happens next.
7) JDU: The original movie is run in highlights for few minutes. Then Nitish Kumar shows up on-screen saying this is bias towards Modi and asks why there are no IIMs in Bihar for such stories to happen. He demands special status for Bihar with atleast 3 IIMs.
8) Left Front and Trinamool Congress: They make a joint movie wherein one party roots for the girl’s side and one for the boy’s side. They keep protesting against each other and as a result the college is closed for 4 days a week (excluding weekends) for the entire year. Nobody comes to campus to hire and everyone passes free time by writing poems and having in-house debates. IIM-A is subsequently renamed IIM-C.
Chetan Bhagat becomes a billionaire with all the royalty checks. In completely unrelated news, desi Twitter intellectuals report abnormally high blood pressure and low self esteem.