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Sharad Pawar to hold backdoor talks with Indra for monsoon

05, Jul 2012 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. With monsoon delayed in North India and the National Capital Region reeling under scorching heat, Union Agriculture Minister Sharad Pawar has decided to help the aam aadmi by cutting a deal with Indra, Lord of Rains.

There were reports of many farmers praying to gods for rains, but Mr. Pawar believes that instead of such direct calls for engagement, a bit of backdoor negotiations would be more helpful.

“We will have good rains,” Pawar predicted, even though he had earlier claimed that he was not any astrologer, “We just need to work out a deal that satisfies all.”

Sharad Pawar
The rainmaker?

Sources say that earlier Pranab Mukherjee used to be the problem solver and the crisis manager of the government, but with him becoming apolitical after Presidential nomination, the responsibility has been taken up by Sharad Pawar.

“Pawar saab has a lot of free time these days after his tenure as ICC President got over last week so he could work on this project,” a source in the government told Faking News.

Sources close to Pawar reveal that efforts are being made to find out the trusted “agents” or “bookies” of Indra with whom initial talks could be initiated. However no headway was made in this case.

“Many godmen and babas did come forward to offer negotiations on behalf of Lord Indra, but it seems gods don’t operate through agents,” the source revealed.

Though contact with Indra or his agents for backdoor negotiations seems a far-fetched idea, many experts believe that deals with gods can indeed be struck.

“Did they not cut a deal with Agni, the god of fire, to burn files?” pointed out an expert.

While other skeptics reject such notions, they believe that Sharad Pawar would still find a way out to bring rains thanks to his experience as a cricket administrator.

“There is definitely a connection between rains and cricket,” an expert claimed, “It invariably starts raining when India plays well. Maybe Pawar just needs to organize a few cricket matches and fix them in favor of India. Indra will impulsively come out with rains to spoil the party.”

However, some of them warn that Pawar could settle scores under the garb of negotiating with Indra.

“What if he claims that he has been able to contact Indra and the god wants human sacrifice of Harvinder Singh?” wondered a rationalist, “Even BJP may not dispute the claim as it involves a Hindu god!”

(with inputs from Kirtiman Phadke)