Sunday, 19th November, 2017

Snippets

Secret Bihar Election Diary: Manjhi remembers the CM bungalow

11, Oct 2015 By Sandeep Kadian

Dear Diary,

Another day gone, another step closer to the CM post. Don’t you miss the CM bungalow diary? I know you do. Even I miss that place. Just few more days diary, and then we return to the place where we belong.

Don’t worry about the fact that we are fighting on only 21 seats. Opinion polls are predicting very tight result diary and as you know, in a tight finish, we will be kingmakers. If we are kingmakers, then why shouldn’t I crown myself King? If BJP gives CM post fine, else we will flip again diary.

Manjhi's dream
What is on Manjhi’s mind (cartoon by @NeelabhToons)

But It hasn’t been easy. My son-in-law rebelled against me. Can you believe that, my son-in-law? If he had to embarrass me, at least he could have embarrassed me like Vadra by becoming super rich very quickly. At least I would have received money along with embarrassment. But no, he had to rebel and fight as an independent.

It won’t hurt me though diary. This shouldn’t stop my march to the CM bungalow. Once I return to that CM bungalow diary, I will deploy 10 policemen per mango tree to stop Nitish Kumar from having any mangoes from that garden. Let’s see how Nitish babu reacts when the shoe is on the other foot. Forget policemen, I will deploy black cat commandos there with shoot at sight order.

I know Paswan ji is also hoping for the CM post in his heart, but he already is a minister in Centre Government. Why is he so greedy? Or does he think his son should become CM? I am sure Modi ji won’t entertain him. His son is too naïve to become CM, but maybe I will make him a minister in my cabinet. Bungalow doors will be secured this way.

Anyway, Paswans don’t have any experience of running a state, I do diary. Oh and how I ran the state. No JDU MLA was sure whether he is in the government or in the opposition. BJP MLAs had no clue whether they are opposing the government or opposing the opposition. RJD MLAs thought they are part of the government when they were part of the opposition. Fun times diary, fun times.

Nitish and Lalu ran Bihar like a Prakash Jha film. I ran Bihar like the climax of a Priyadarshan film. Full comedy, full chaos, full entertainment. As you know diary, laughter is the best medicine, I treated Biharis free of cost by providing that medicine. Why will they not want me back?

Now I have to go and rest diary. My hands are hurting from clapping during Modi ji’s speeches all day; have to do it again tomorrow. How much he talks diary and expects applause after every sentence. Uff.. Anyway, Good night diary.