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Samajwadi Party to distribute buffaloes instead of laptops to woo voters back in Uttar Pradesh

18, Nov 2014 By indianpsycho

Lucknow. After blaming free laptop distribution scheme for his party’s debacle in Lok Sabha Polls, Samajwadi Party supremo, Mulayam Singh Yadav has now asked his son to prepare for the next assembly polls in the state by distributing free buffaloes to voters.

Arguing that literacy and awareness levels in Uttar Pradesh were increasing at alarming levels ever since the party gave laptops, Mulayam claimed that distribution of buffaloes would keep voters grounded and take them backwards back to their roots.

Azam has warned Mulayam against eyeing his beloved buffaloes for distribution.
Azam has warned Mulayam against eyeing his beloved buffaloes for distribution.

“Look at what TMC did in West Bengal. I mean they did nothing and still won overwhelmingly in elections!” Mulayam pointed, “We should have followed their model. Literacy could be a boon to mankind, but certainly not for parties like us.”

Mulayam is confident that after having buffaloes in their house, voters will develop an instant connection with SP leader Azam Khan and thus with the party at large.

“Azam miyan’s statements and acts in the past have made buffaloes completely synonymous with him. The first thing that comes to your mind when you hear buffalo is not milk, but Azam Khan, such has been the impact,” Mulayam claimed.

But not willing to take any more chances now, the buffaloes will have tattoos of SP leaders like Mulayam, Akhilesh, Dimple, etc. all over their body.

“If buffaloes don’t remind them of SP, these tattoos will,” explained party spokesperson Gaurav Bhatia.

Mulayam was also mulling distributing goats initially for secularism’s sake, but dropped the plan after he realized that people may eat the animal and forget about it by the time elections come.

Political experts feel that distributing buffaloes is a master-stroke by Samajwadi Party as it will be the best for top-of-the-mind-recall value.

“If for some reason voters fail to connect buffaloes with Azam and thus SP, they will surely symbolically relate animal’s thick skin with that of party leaders,” one such expert told Faking News.