Tuesday, 26th September, 2017

Snippets

Robert Vadra launches BAP (Banana Aadmi Party)

06, Jan 2014 By Shaitaan Khopdi ™

Gurgaon. Soon after Congress successfully neutralized its pre-poll karma by striking a post-poll alliance with AAP, Robert Vadra has also started working on his strategy to wash away his sins.

The original Mango Man of the Banana Republic has decided that he cannot bank on laws & in-laws anymore. In his bid to redeem himself he has decided to launch ‘Banana Aadmi Party’, fight election against AAP, and later offer unconditional support to them.

BAP's party symbol.
BAP’s party symbol.

We asked what prompted him to come up with this idea, Vadra philosophically said, “Sari khudai ek taraf aur biwi ka bhai ek taraf. When whole world wassuggesting me to make peace with Kejriwal and Khemka, I did not listen. But after Delhi results when Rahul Gandhi said ‘We need to learn from Kejriwal‘ it struck the right chords in my mind in a manner that you can’t even imagine. People had even started talking that Kejriwal is the son Sonia always wanted. So I feared that if Kejriwal can become the son she wanted, somebody else will become the son-in-law she needed. I will not let Gandhi-Vadra family down so easily!”

On the weird choice of party name, Vadra clarified, “Being a farmer myself, I always keep dreaming when my investments will bear fruits. The king of fruits, Mango (Aam) is already taken by Kejriwal, so I settled for Banana. Politics is all about ‘Aam aadmi ko ullu Banana’. Kejri has started and I will finish.”

Faking News reporter Shaitaan Khopdi™ asked what would be his agenda for the polls; Vadra replied, “Naturally I will fight for against Corruption! I am going to take up Ashok Khemka’s case. Honest IAS officers with initials as AK are the flavor of the season.  If Kejriwal can be CM, why Khemka has not got his due? I will tear up the chargesheet filed by Haryana government in full media view. This is another trick I learned from Rahul.”

“The rampant corruption is evident when you hear people say ‘Aam ke aam, Guthliyon ke daam’. I demand that Guthli should be auctioned just like Coal mines and Spectrum. Where is CAG when poor farmers need them?” Vadra launched his political campaign.

When Faking News reminded him that Khemka might not come together with him, he had his answer ready, “Even Anna doesn’t share stage with Kejri, does it make any difference to AAP?”