Monday, 23rd April, 2018

Snippets

Politician gets anticipatory clean chit before executing a scam

24, Dec 2017 By RT

India. A highly successful politician has applied for an anticipatory clean chit, from the court of judge OPK Swani. The politician is planning a series of scams and the anticipatory clean chit will keep him in his office for his full term, it is learnt by Faking News. Judge OPK Swani, in illustrated career, has given nothing but clean chits, citing highly innovative reasons and highly flawed arithmetic calculations, it is further learnt by Faking News.

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The first time OPK Swani’s judgement had become a butt of jokes, when he had asked a thief to act according to his consciences and let him walk free. Then there was a disproportionate case, where he calculated the excess wealth of a corrupt politician with erroneous calculations. Those two judgements have since been included in creative writing courses in 5 Indian universities.

Then, the criminal cases followed. CBI had prepared 8000 pages of charge sheet in one case. OPK Swani sold the entire bundle of papers for half a kilogram of dates and allowed everyone involved to walk free. In the same case, when CBI had proven beyond doubt that 200 crores were transferred as bribe from a fruit company to a TV channel, the judge simply dismissed the transaction as a mega advertising fee, for enhancing fruit eating habits of Indian public.

After learning about OPK Swani’s unmatched skills on giving out clean chits, a lot of men and women in exile have returned back to India to get clean chits. A politician, known to execute scientific scams, has applied for an anticipatory clean chit to peacefully execute a few planned scams without having to worry about hiding evidence. The politician was not available for any comments as he was busy discussing the scam plan openly with his secretarial staff, when approached by Faking News.

The judge has given an anticipatory blanket clean chit for all the future scams by the politician for the next 25 years, it is now learnt by Faking News.