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PM’s security guards replaced with Congress spokespersons to resist coalgate attacks

18, Oct 2013 By idiot420

New Delhi. In wake of increasing attacks on the Prime Minister Manmohan Singh in relation to coal scam, Congress high command has decided to replace his security guards by party spokespersons.

“We are not removing his z-security, but as of now, he faces risk of psychological injuries than physical ones. Never was his personal integrity under question as it is now,” a PMO source explained.

Kapil Sibal
Getting ready for the job

To make sure the Prime Minister doesn’t wear out before the general elections, the party has deployed a battery of leaders and spokespersons to guard him round the clock.

Party leaders have claimed that this step proved that Dr. Manmohan Singh was a valued member of the party and not any doormat, as many argue.

“In fact, Rahul Gandhi ji himself came up with this idea of protecting the Prime Minister. This should stop claims that Rahul Baba had insulted the Prime Minister,” a party leader said.

Sources tell Faking News that this Special Protection Group (SPG) will consist of stalwarts like Manish Tewari, Rajeev Shukla, Abhishek Manu Singhvi, Kapil Sibal, Renuka Chowdhury, and of course, Digvijaya Singh.

If sources are to be believed, CBI was also eager to join the SPG, but they were asked not to rush in.

The SPG will ward off any and every allegation leveled against the Prime Minister with their prowess. While Manish Tewari and Rajeev Shukla will deny everything, Abshishek Manu Singhvi and Kapil Sibal will flip the charges on their head and level the same charges against the accuser.

“And if they fail, Renuka Chowdhury and Digvijaya Singh will take on from there, which will bludgeon the brains out of everyone and people will no longer remember the charges against the PM,” the source revealed.

As a safety measure, Prime Minister has been requested to wear ear plugs to prevent himself from side effects of keeping this lethal group, especially Mrs. Chowdhury and Mr. Singh, too close to comfort.