Mumbai. Social activist Anna Hazare, who for some inscrutable reason started talking about corruption and some funny sounding Jan Lokpal Bill between celebrations of world cup victory and build up to the IPL, has been asked by the Prime Minister to wait until after the IPL was over. Anna Hazare had earlier announced a fast unto death if the Parliament didn’t adopt the anti-corruption bill without diluting it.
“At least wait till the IPL was over gaddamnit!” a press statement released by the Prime Minister’s Office (PMO) read, claiming to reflect the mood of the nation, duly represented by the parliamentarians.
“The country is happy, let them be, will you?” the statement further appealed to the 72-year-old activist, who deems corruption as the biggest threat to the Indian democracy.
Hazare, a Gandhian, wants the state and central government to set up offices of ombudsmen, independent of government control like the Election Commission, where common citizens can walk in without fear and register complaint against elected representatives and public servants for cases of corruption. The ombudsman will also have the power to prosecute those found guilty without waiting for government’s permission.
“That’s ridiculous,” said a minister on conditions of anonymity reacting to the provisions of the Jan Lokpal bill that is being supported by people like Kiran Bedi, RTI activist Arvind Kejriwal, and Baba Ramdev.
Due to its highly ridiculous nature, the government wants a Group of Ministers (GoM), under the able leadership of Sharad Pawar, to review the bill and “set it straight”.
The Jan Lokpal bill has been pending adoption by the parliament since it was first introduced in 1969 and was erroneously passed by the Lok Sabha, but failed to get pass the Rajya Sabha. The bill failed to pass on nine subsequent occasions after being mysteriously introduced in the parliament ever since, making it the longest pending bill, ahead of the Women’s Reservation Bill.
But Anna Hazare is hell bent on making it eleventh time lucky this time, something that is pissing off the parliamentarians.
Faking News can reveal from its trusted sources that the Group of Ministers working under Sharad Pawar has zeroed upon some “concrete steps” that could be taken to help the honorable parliament maintain its consistent performance on the anti-corruption bill.
“We could announce a PAC or JPC to look into the demands of these random guys,” a GoM member said to have proposed.
“Brilliant!” Sharad Pawar is reported to have reacted, “But what if they say pass this bill for Sachin Tendulkar? You know, people can go crazy and rally behind the bill in that case. Kapil Dev has already extended support to the bill. Fortunately, 1983 win is not such a big news now.”
“In that case, please note that the bill these guys have drafted doesn’t talk at all about any reservations to the dalits, OBC or the minorities, just like that Women’s Reservation Bill,” the member divulged the plan-b, “I guess we could introduce it in the parliament again, and some of our friends could stall the bill for being unfair to the weaker sections of the society.”
The Group of Ministers could soon submit its report to the Prime Minister’s Office.