Saturday, 18th November, 2017

Snippets

Parliament not adjourned for a day, 29 MPs admitted to AIIMS, wife of one lodges missing FIR in panic

11, Aug 2015 By The Reviewer

New Delhi. Both houses of Indian parliament functioned for full allotted hours today shocking the nation and setting the speculation market on fire.

It is still not known what unforeseen circumstances forced the two houses to work for a full day and the information is still elusive, however this unprecedented event caused unprecedented scenes in the capital.

How can a Parliament function without any disruptions?
Inhuman conditions as MPs made to work in the Parliament

Wife of a Rajya Sabha MP lodged a missing person complaint with local police station fearing the worst after her two time MP did not come home on usual time i.e. two hours after leaving home.

“He has been MP for two terms now and this had never happened before. He would be back by lunch hour every day during parliament sessions. He stayed out for long hours only after making stupid statements and then happily going from one TV studio to another. After I failed to find him on any TV, I panicked,” she said on being asked what triggered her to lodge a missing complaint.

Conspiracy theorists took  to Twitter to offer some explanations. One Twitter user suggested that CIA had managed to replace the speakers of both houses with CIA clones so that Indians don’t give up on democracy and America’s plans of installing democracy in every part of the world was not derailed.

Another user postulated, “Or maybe it’s the ISI that has replaced speakers with ISI moles? They knew our poor MPs are not used to working at all, and if they are forced to work long hours they will tire and die. It could be a sophisticated terror attack on our honorable parliament!”

This theory was probably supported by 29 MPs being admitted to AIIMS after the session ended. Various MPs complained of fatigue after working unusually long working hours. Situation of one MP is said to be critical as he was made to read entire draft of one bill that was to be debated.

“I thought I was having a heart attack,” one MP told Faking News, “This is inhuman treatment, the speaker wants to kill us all.” These 29 MPs are planning to protest outside the parliament asking for resignation of speakers.

“If the speakers don’t resign, I will! I did not sign up for this anarchy and jungle-raj! Look around at all these MPs, they are all almost dead. Is this how a nation should treat its elected representative? 6 hour work days are unsustainable,” he added.

Although the events were totally unexpected, at least one MP, Mr. Ray Panda, had earlier opined that Parliament houses functioning for a full day every day was a good thing. “Every Indian works full day; they don’t get to disrupt and go home early. Parliament should never be adjourned, if MPs are shouting let them, work through the commotion, we should have a law that makes it mandatory for parliament to function minimum 8 hours everyday,” he said.

Sources later confirmed to Faking News that Mr. Ray Panda was unfriended by 280 MPs from Facebook the next day and was seen having unsubsidized lunch in the canteen the next day all alone.