New Delhi: In a major decision, several new facilities have been added for member’s comfort in Parliament House, the officials of Parliament Secretariat announced today during a special press briefing. A special creche for kids, sleeping dormitories for tired MPs and sobering rooms for drunks MPs have all been added to increase productivity in the Parliament.
Briefing the newsmen, the Parliamentary Secretary explained, “The facilities include a Creche, furnished artistically in light blue and pink, with separate sections for toddlers & infants, equipped with swings & games, cribs and playpens, rattles and dolls, potty chairs and cradles, child sized chairs & beds, manned by attendants for feeding, cleaning and diaper changes. It even boasts of a VIP section for the kids from elite families.”
“Two sleeping dormitories have also been added for the MPs who are tired from their vacations or just jet lagged due to their frequent travels to foreign lands. We appreciate their passion to work for the poor by traveling abroad or by taking vacations; to think, to contemplate and to rejuvenate. We must support them as well”, the Parliamentary secretary added.
“A well equipped sobering section will also be provided for those who interact with another set of down trodden, the drunkards & alcoholics. They drink till wee hours of morning in pubs, to understand the problems of the common men, to feel like them, to develop the empathy. They are in no condition to come directly to the Parliament so we will provide them this sobering room where they can stay till they are sober”, he further added.
The Parliamentary Secretary explained the rationale for the changes, “The times are changing; keeping up with the demographic profile of India, the members of Parliament are getting younger and recently there were accusations of some MPs turning up drunk inside the Parliament, we want to assure their family members that they are in good care at the Parliament.”
Faking News reporter spoke to members of Parliament to get their views on the new facilities. Though most members were happy and congratulated the parliamentary secretariat, a few were not impressed and expressed reservations. An MP from the hinterland said,“ई सब अमीरों का चोंचला है. हमार बच्चा तो गाय के तबेले में खेलते बड़ा हुआ, उनके लिए तो कुछ किया ही नही. सामाजिक न्याय के खिलाफ काम किया है ये सब.” (All these crèche etc are toys of the rich, our kids play in cow shed and they have been denied any facility. This is against the principles of social justice.)
A ruling party member had the final word on the changes, “We are committed to the development of the country and the route for that passes through the crèche. Now we are sure that the GST would be passed in Rajya Sabha.”