Ramlila grounds, Delhi. In one of the first few statements released to media since his return, Congress-Yuvraj Rahul Gandhi has advised countrymen to consume copious amount of cotton candy, regardless of their age. He lauded eating cotton-candy as single most crucial steps the citizens can take to help cotton farmers and revive country’s agriculture sector. Talking to an audience at “Rahul Gandhi comeback rally for farmers”, Rahul questioned the ruling government.
“I don’t understand why Modi government is not making eating cotton candy mandatory. Cotton-candy which also known as “Budhiya ke baal” has been my favorite since childhood and I have no shame in admitting that I still love it. If government makes consumption of cotton-candy mandatory then the citizens will buy and consume it in high amounts, and will enjoy it. That money directly will go into the pockets of our poor, wretched, frustrated farmers and they will be pulled out of economic depression within a few weeks. It is a win-win economic strategy for all and will revive our country’s GDP and TRP overnight,” Rahul declared amidst huge round of applause & whistles as the man beside him quickly showed large “applause” cue-board to the audience.
When a reporter from audience expressed concerns that a lot of people in the country may actually dislike cotton candy, Rahul laughed like a kid and said, “Today morning, when I woke up at night, I felt such a craving for cotton candy. Thankfully at that time I was staying in the roof-less hut of Bholu, a poor cotton farmer and he was immediately able to fetch some cotton from his farm and make me some fresh cotton candy for me. I just loved it. I am sure we all will love it. Deep inside we all are nothing but kids.”
When the same reporter tried to question and seek more information from Rahul on illegal land deals, the reporter was escorted by a few volunteers to the place where lunch was being served and was given sufficient refreshments to satiate his hunger for food and information.