Thursday, 23rd November, 2017

Snippets

NSUI opposes Maggi Ban, accuses Modi govt of trying to destroy education institutions

04, Jun 2015 By Shaitaan Khopdi ™

New Delhi: Thousands of NSUI members who had nothing better to do this morning, gathered in front of HRD minister Smriti Irani’s home and protested against govt’s decision to ban Maggi. Protesters accused MHRD and PM Modi of propagating RSS and Hindutva agenda into educational institutions and claimed that Smriti Irani is systematically destroying IITs.

The protest from NSUI received resounding support from bachelors and hostelers studying in JNU, private engineering colleges in Ghaziabad & Greater Noida. NSUI promptly attributed it to Rahul Gandhi for his dynamite dynamic leadership.

NSUI claims Modi and Irani are showing how many institutes they destroy every week.
NSUI claims Modi and Irani are showing how many institutes they destroy every week.

Faking News reporter Shaitaan Khopdi™ asked the outraged protesters why they are protesting against HRD ministry when the issue involves Food and Consumer Affairs ministry. One protester Fitoor Bin-Matbal remarked, “Maggi is an essential food for all the hostelers. Who eats food from mess? It is Maggi that keeps them going. Hostelers can’t survive without it. Clearly it is an attempt by MHRD to destroy our institutions.”

Reports suggest that it has harmful chemical in quantities more than the permitted level. Consuming this can cause serious damage to health, reasoned Shaitaan Khopdi™. “So what? So bloody what? Even the municipal water has contamination, should we stop drinking water? Should we also stop breathing because of air pollution? Is desh me Maggi kaun laya? Rajiv Gandhi ji. Maruti 800 is gone, corruption is down, now Maggi too. This government is killing everything that Congress gave to the nation,” retorted an enraged NSUI member MS Iyyar.

But how does it link with RSS and Hindutva asked a puzzled Shaitaan Khopdi™.

“Look dude, linking the issue such as global warming and drought to RSS and Hindutva is media’s job. Don’t ask me. I came here in the hope that Delhi Police will use water cannon and I will get some free water to take bath,” explained a protester who neither looked like a hosteler, bachelor nor the NSUI member.

We finally found a JNU types who looked similar to a journalist and asked the same question. He said, “After banning Maggi, they are going to flood market with Ayurvedic Noodles produced by Baba Ramdev. Isn’t it a clear proof that RSS is controlling this government, you Bhakt!!!”